Monday, June 23, 2008

Stepping Out?

Probably my closest friend for my entire adult life has been a guy who, for blogging purposes, I’ll call H. We were college roommates for two years, and when I was in graduate school, he and I lived in a house together with a group of other guys. We got married just a few months apart, and we were each other’s Best Man. H and his wife (call her F) bought a house a block away from Molly and me, and we both had daughters, again within a few months of each other. 1F and H/F’s oldest daughter have been best friends since they were both in diapers, which is really unusual these days, and really cool.

H/F’s second daughter married the son of GF2 (remember her?) and her husband, and they now have a baby daughter of their own. It has been really cool to see the relationship between the four ‘co-grandparents’, who were good friends before their children married each other, but having a grandchild in common has made for an even closer bond between them.

A while back, Molly and I were at a party at GF2’s house; one of her younger children was graduating from high school. Her kids and mine are all aware that, back in the day, we dated each other, and from time to time, it becomes the focal point of some humor among them. And this was one of those times. So, when the young parents (the son of GF2 and the daughter of H/F) arrived at the party with their little girl (the ‘common’ grandchild), I held the little girl briefly and said, “You know, I used to date your grandma.”

F was standing nearby, and heard me. Whereupon she said, “Hey, you dated BOTH of us!” Well, F is a very good friend, but she was never my girlfriend, so I had no idea what she was talking about. At first. But then I remembered. . .


Several years ago, a buddy of mine, knowing my serious musical jones (nyuk!) for any and all things Beatle, scored tickets to see Paul McCartney (even before he was Sir Paul), and picked up a pair for me (for which you can be sure I was grateful). I told Molly about the tickets, and she was ambivalent about going. “Why don’t you go with H?”

So, I offered my second ticket to H, figuring that we could have some guy-time together at the concert, but he wasn’t particularly interested, either. “But, I bet F would love to go with you – heck, she even went to see the Beatles way back when. . .” Well, I didn’t know about that – my buddy’s wife, and all.

But Molly was all for it. “Go ahead and go to the concert with F. She’ll appreciate it, and you’ll both have a great time.” So we did.

I admit, driving the hour-and-a-half to the concert venue was a little odd, but not so bad as all that – Molly and I had been doing things together with H and F since before we were married, and I had a good friendship with F even apart from her being married to my best friend.

We got to the arena, and we had a great time. F told me stories about when she went to see the Beatles when she was 12, and it was cool. Paul came out with the band, and played a great show, and F and I had tremendous fun singing along with the songs, remembering our youth, and just generally having a lot of fun.

When the concert was over, we hung around the arena for awhile, waiting for the traffic to thin out before we got back in the car. While we were standing by our seats, we saw a couple we both knew – former members of our community, who we hadn’t seen for probably ten years or so. They came over to talk with us, and the whole time, they were both looking at us oddly, like, “I thought you were married to. . .” After a few pleasantries, they moved on.

F turned and hit me on the shoulder. “You didn’t say anything!” she squealed.

“Neither did you,” I responded. “Besides, it’ll be interesting to see if any rumors come back around from it, don’t you think?”

“I can’t believe you didn’t say anything!” To which I only smirked.


As far as I know, there were never any rumors spread about us. And I haven’t ever run into that couple again, to ask what they thought when they saw F and me together.

But, I have to admit, in all candor, that I can’t say anymore that I stopped dating other women after I married Molly. Heck, Molly even said it was okay (and so did F’s husband, for that matter), so long as I tell her about it when I got home. . .


Therese in Heaven said...

You're lucky that no story was created, although knowing human nature, perhaps it just never got back to you.

Someone recently told my mom that she saw my sister-in-law (who's expecting #8, btw) out with an "older gentleman." When Mom asked for a description, it was my Dad! Dad is always helping his family with one thing or another, and loves any excuse to be with the grandkids. But had she said what she did to someone else that way, they would have been given the distinct impression that my SIL was "stepping out" on my brother.

FTN said...

You need to come up with some names for some of these people... My brain has trouble keeping all these letters straight. :-)

Sailor said...

At least name the GF and H and F and J, K, L. Or something.

Or should that be someone?
My head is spinning, and the painkillers aren't helping a bit.


Trueself said...

I knew you had a bit of a wild side to you! ;-)

Ignore the naysayers on the letters for people. It works fine for me on my blog.

Desmond Jones said...

Therese - Looking back, I'd probably be a bit more concerned about 'giving the appearance of scandal' than I was in those days. And a bit more mindful of 'the near occasion of sin' (honestly, the occasion wasn't all that near, but I'm more skeptical of my own strength of character than I used to be).

And, your SIL is expecting #8? Woohoo! Uh, they know where they come from, right? ;)

FTN - OK, just think 'Hal' where it says 'H', and 'Faye' where it says 'F'. And for 'GF2', think 'Gertrude Farquhar II'. Is that easier for your brain?

Sailor - OK, I guess I'm gonna have to establish a rule against reading this blog on painkillers. . .

Truey - See, I knew you'd understand. . .

Iago's Mom said...


Desmond Jones said...

Iago's Mom - Glad you stopped by. Read all you want; sometimes we'll even post new stuff. . .

Recovering Soul said...

If we have another daughter, we are totally naming her 'Gertrude Farquhar II'.

Seriously the best name ever.

Desmond Jones said...

RS - My 5th-grade teacher used to tell us stories, using the 'generic name' of Emil Farquhar (pronounced 'Farkwar', in case anybody's wondering). So, I just figured his wife could be Gertrude. . .

And Therese, it just occurred to me that the person who reported on your SIL's 'questionable' companion could be thinking to herself, "My God, it's worse than I thought! Not only is your DIL stepping out, but so is your husband!"