Friday, February 13, 2009

Long-Stemmed WHAT?

Molly and I have never been particularly big on Valentine’s Day. We’ve tended to view it as pretty much an over-hyped ‘Hallmark holiday’, designed to sell candy and greeting cards. And we’ve figured that really, it’s much better if we spend 365 days a year finding ways to express our love and commitment to each other, than it is to ride in on a white horse every February 14th to say what, honestly, we should be saying (albeit, perhaps not in quite such extravagant form) all the time.

But, maybe that’s just us.

I did get in trouble once over Valentine’s Day, though. My birth-mother, as it turns out, is a HUGE fan of Valentine’s Day. And so, when the first V-Day after our reunion rolled around, and I gave it my typical blasé non-observance, she was pretty upset with me, and told me so. I mean, how hard would it have been for me to send her a card, or some candy hearts with cheesy ‘romantic’ messages stamped in them, expressing the true depth of my feelings for her, right?

So, I didn’t make that mistake again. The following year, I was in the card shop a month ahead, searching for the perfect V-Day card. And I found it. On the front, it had an old photo of a gnarly, scowling old gentleman, standing behind a chair on the lawn. The caption read, “Here’s your damn Valentine”, and inside it said, “Now sit down and shut up.” Molly wouldn’t let me send it to my mother. But I still have it in my files, to this day (I swear I still have it; I was gonna scan it for y'all, but I couldn't immediately lay hands on it).

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We have occasionally had a bit of fun with V-Day observances, though. Many years ago, when we were married only a few years, I was in my office, working, on Valentine’s Day, when I got paged to the receptionist’s desk by the front door, so everybody in the office could hear it. When I got there, there was a long white box sitting there – the kind that long-stemmed roses often come in. “Your wife was just here,” said the receptionist. “She said she couldn’t stay, but she left this for you.”

Curious. . . Molly is definitely not the sentimental sort. She used to pooh-pooh it when I brought her flowers, but over the years she's grown more appreciative of the thought, and the effort (and the flowers are nice, after all). Getting roses for me would be way out-of-character for her.

I picked up the box. It was heavy. WAY too heavy for flowers. What the heck? So I set the box back on the desk, and opened it, to see what in the world it could possibly contain, that was so heavy.

And I saw six cans of beer, laid end-to-end. A linear six-pack.

Sometimes, you know, there are just no words. . .

I married a great, great woman. . .

10 comments:

Xavier said...

Now there's a gift where the thought really did count .....

lime said...

the best valentine i ever got from mr. lime was when were were in trinidad and i was pregnant and having the WORST cravings for broccoli (not at all an easy item to come by down there). he came home on valentine's day with a bouquet of broccoli and told me i didn't have to share it. there is not set of roses or even a box of chocolate (an you know how i love chocolate) that could have compared with that broccoli!

the beer in a flower box is an absolute hoot though. clever molly :)

for a different kind of girl said...

How I wish Tool Man was a drinker because I'd be rushing out right now to replicate this gift idea for him! Maybe I'll just go get some beer for me...

The Silent Male said...

This post made me feel all sentimental like...

Sailor said...

That's a great gift, just another confirmation of what a wonderful woman you fell in love with- and she with you :)

Cocotte said...

It's all about the thought. Personally, I get annoyed when people say they don't celebrate it because it's too commercial. Isn't EVERY holiday too commercial?

I think it's nice in this big, bad world that we get one day a year dedicated to those we love and lust. And I'm leaving in a few minutes to go out to a romantic dinner with Husband. Ta-ta!

FTN said...

Years ago when I was in college, my on-and-off girlfriend was evidently trying to woo me again, because she bought me a dozen red roses.

That had to be way expensive for a college student. And, as a guy, roses just don't do much for me. I was pretty much thinking, Wow, think of all the stuff we could have spent that money on.

Like beer, for instance. But we were underage, so, maybe not.

Desmond Jones said...

Xavier - I know; just brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it?

Lime - Wow; that's a whole new take on 'flowers for Valentine's Day'. I never thought of getting her flowers she could eat before. . .

faDKoG - Well, you could get him a linear six-pack of Diet Dew, maybe. . . ;)

SM - I'm here for you, man; just let it flow. . .

Sailor - You know, sometimes it comes home hard that she just knows me really, really well. . .

Cocotte - 'Isn't EVERY holiday too commercial?'

Well, yeah, I suppose so. But some of 'em - Christmas, Easter, even the Fourth of July - have something 'substantial' behind the commercial hype.

But hey, point taken that there are worse things than letting our beloved know that she's beloved. . .

And just because I hold you in such high regard, I'm going to refrain from making the 'ta-ta' joke that leapt immediately into my (fallen, depraved) mind. . .

FTN - And I'll refrain from making the cheap/obvious connection that Judas was also concerned with 'what else we could've spent the money on'. . . ;)

But yeah, girls sending flowers to their guys just doesn't have quite the same effect, somehow. . .

And bummer for you, the whole 'underage' thing. I was in college during the brief window when the drinking age in OurState was 18. . .

flutterby said...

I think that is possibly the greatest gift idea I've heard of in a long time. :)

Desmond Jones said...

Flutter - I'm hard-pressed to think of one I've ever gotten that was any better. . .