Desmond and Molly - The Adventure Begins

I first met Molly when we were both in college. I've spoken before about the Christian community I joined when I was in school; I think it was during my junior year that Molly started showing up at campus functions of the community, and in due course, joined the community herself. I’d like to say that, the first time I laid eyes on her, I was instantly star-struck and knew that one day she’d be my wife. But it didn’t happen that way. In fact, I’m pretty sure I barely noticed her at first.

That summer, between my junior and senior years, I lived in an apartment near campus with a couple buddies, and took a couple summer classes. Molly, as it turned out, lived with some women in the same complex, about a block away. The girls she was living with were good friends of the guys in my apartment, so she and I spent a fair amount of time that summer hanging out together, and we became good friends. I enjoyed her outgoing, sanguine personality; she was just generally pleasant to be around.

Over the next couple years, we became good friends. In the context of the life of our community, we spent quite a bit of time together, praying, studying the Bible, serving together in various and sundry ways. For a while, I was the leader of a music group, and she was sort of loosely my ‘secretary’, so we’d meet every week to plan music for a worship service; I have to say, we worked very well together.

All during this time, I came to admire what a solid, godly woman she was. I wasn’t remotely ‘in the market’ for a wife yet, and, while I certainly enjoyed her company, I wasn’t looking at Molly in any kind of ‘romantic’ way. In my mind, we were really good friends, and brother/sister in Christ, and that was great. Also during this time, I sort of cycled through a series of ‘crushes’ on other women in the community, all of which crashed and burned in various comical ways. So, I sort of ‘swore off’ romance for a while, and concentrated more on my studies.

When I graduated, I took a job in the same town where the college was (Molly continued in school for another year or two). I bought a car and a house, and started to think about settling down and getting married. I actually thought about asking Molly out – I certainly admired her, and we always enjoyed each other’s company. But, when I was ready to ‘make my move’, I discovered that she was dating another guy. Down in flames again! So I retreated, and pondered my next move.

One Sunday morning not long after that, I was sitting on my porch, reading the newspaper, when Molly came hopping up the stairs. She had moved into a house with some other women, just up the street from the house I’d just bought. She was carrying a dingy little rubber ball in her hand. “I know you play paddleball,” she said. “I found this ball, and I wondered if it was the kind you could use.” Well, it wasn’t, but I thanked her for thinking of me, and we chatted for a while before she continued on her way.

I was sort of chuckling at the whole thing, at how silly it was for her to bring me this grubby little ball, when it suddenly dawned on me – this wasn’t about the ball. She was letting me know that she was available and interested. Sure enough, I discovered that she wasn’t seeing the other guy any more, and when I asked her out, she eagerly accepted.

And the rest, as they say, is history. We were married the following summer; and we recently celebrated our 26th anniversary.

I want to say that all those years of friendship have paid dividends in our marriage – long before either of us thought of the other as a potential mate (well, long before I thought of her that way, at any rate), we just liked each other and enjoyed each other’s company. More importantly, we admired and respected each other on a purely human, interpersonal level, without the starry-eyed romantic overtones. And, when it came time for us both to think about choosing a life-partner, we had pretty objective, clear-headed assessments of each other. And, even today, I still have that fundamental admiration of Molly as a woman, quite separately from the fact that she’s my wife. And that’s like money in the bank for us.

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Let Me Introduce Myself

Hi, I'm Desmond Jones; welcome to my new blog

Since I'm new to Blogworld, let me tell you a few things about myself. Hopefully, these will provide some background for you on who I am; in the fullness of time, most of them will provide fodder for blogging:

- I turned 50 this past winter

- My wife Molly and I celebrated our 25th anniversary last summer

- We are the parents of eight children

- Our oldest daughter is 24, our youngest son is 4

- I make my bread as an engineer

- I was adopted as an infant

- My adoptive mother left my Dad when I was nine; she sent me a birthday card every year until I was 13, and then I lost track of her

- Dad remarried about a year later, when I was ten

- My stepmother had three children from her previous marriage, so we went from a family with two kids to five kids (spanning less than three years in age) literally overnight

- I've never called my stepmother 'stepmother'; she's always just been 'Mom'

- Mom and Dad had two boys together, so we ended up with seven kids in our 'yours-mine-and-ours' blended family

- I was eventually reunited with my adoptive mother, after not hearing from her for almost 20 years

- She had stopped writing when she remarried; she'd never told her new husband that she'd had kids

- I've searched for and met both of my birth-parents

- I met my birth-mother when I was 33; we have a close relationship, and my kids call her 'Grandma'

- I've been married longer than my birth-mother has; I like to tease her husband that, unbeknownst to either of them, she was already a grandmother when they got married

- So Molly has three - count 'em, three - mothers-in-law

- I met my birth-father about a year after I met my birth-mother; we have a good relationship, but we're not real close

- He has two daughters - my half-sisters; I've met both of them, and we've enjoyed the times we've spent together

- I'm fairly musical - I started taking piano lessons when I was five

- I sang in the church choir when I was in high school

- I taught myself to play guitar when I was in high school; chicks dig guys who play the guitar. At least, that was the theory

- I can do a semi-passable rendition of 'Stairway to Heaven'

- I sang and played keyboards in a band while I was in college; we got a few gigs playing for friends' weddings (free beer!)

- No, Molly never did 'sing in the band'; sorry

- I've been what I call a serious Christian since I was in high school (God only knows how 'serious' I've really been; Lord, have mercy)

- In high school, I was a good, old-fashioned Jesus-freak, complete with shoulder-length hair

- When I was in college, I became Catholic

- Molly and I met when we were in college - we were part of the same Christian community on campus

- We were good friends for three years before either of us thought of the other as potentially more than that (Molly probably thought of me as a potential husband a while before I caught on, but she was very patient with me)

- I've been overweight my whole adult life

- In the last four months, I've lost 67 pounds; I'm almost back to what I weighed when I was in college (which was still 50 pounds more than I weighed in high school; I've got a ways to go yet)

- It's all because Molly really loves me, and wants to keep me around a while longer (at least until the kids are grown; after that, all bets are off ;) ). She did all the research, she's doing all the shopping and cooking to make me eat (and live) healthy


OK, that's enough for now. In the fullness of time, I'll probably develop some of these into full-blown posts. Hopefully, we can have some interesting discussions over them. I like to tell stories, and I'll post some of them, too. I've enjoyed lurking and commenting on several of your blogs, and I feel like I've already made a friend or two. So if a few of you find me here, we can carry things forward, get to know each other a little better, and maybe even have a little fun together. See ya 'round!

Hello, Blogworld!

Hi, I'm Desmond Jones, and. . . I'm a blogger now.

(everybody now):

Hiiiiiii, Desmond!

I've been lurking on several of your blogs for the last few months, and now I'm finally a denizen of blogworld in my own right (thanks, KJ!)

I'm still not really sure that I won't just be crushingly boring to the rest of you, but I've lately been commenting enough that it's probably just time for me to have my own blog.

So then, we're off! (but not by much, I hope)

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